Tunataka Serikali Itusaidie

Am I the only kenyan is super-fed up with this phrase?!!! I think its about damn time people realize the government doesn't give a fig about them. Whenever anything happens to the public the phrase comes up! bad roads, hiked fuel prices, APs killing each other, guys dying from famine-the list is endless. My two cents on the issue is that we need to take the initiative to force the govt to serve us, after all what the hell is the purpose of their existence? And to stop whining cause thats really not helping!

WHY HATING IS AN ARTFORM

I find it interesting how people will always look at the positive works of people and not the criticism that comes with it. What I always do is fast forward on the goody two shoes part-which is mostly boring rambling and then get to the good stuff-the hater comments. Why you ask? Have you ever read some of the most interesting blogs or comments on various websites or FB pages- review them are they always the sweetest, most positive of reads? No they are juicy gossip tidbits or someone venting their hateration on some hapless individuals (ok at times some of the people being hated on actually deserve it). Yes this is true and you know it. Just to prove it-would you rather bookmark Frankie Rantz’s webpage for some constant udaku or some do-gooder organization’s webpage hell-bent on saving some endangered animal/rain forest/art form/language…. Yep now that explains it. Back to the story why I check out the hater comments (or constructive negative criticism if you would like to be PC about it) is because some of the guys/chicks posting them are the most creative at aiming their stinging barbs to whoever they hate on. Check out some of the intended puns/comments at some YouTube videos or random FB comments on some pages especially after a scandal. Also some random ‘celebrity/fashion’ bloggers who decimate their intended victims with some very witty remarks. I think these guys should actually write a book/manual on how to hate or have a hater award ceremony of sorts for the most creative of the lot. Why? Because hateration actually sells-that’s what helps some celebrities with ailing sales actually sell-harsh critics slamming their products actually drives people to go buy and see what really sucked in the album/fragrance/movie/clothes line… So my take on it, creative haters need to make it an industry-although with regulations as it is a sensitive one and with so many haters there needs to be regulations to let the do-gooders stay. Have a hate free day 

Mogadishu and Lagos shenanigans

A recount of travel adventures by some friends made me write this because of the humor which they gave these stories with. Of interest was travels to Somalia and Lagos in terms of arms adventures. My friends are pretty ordinary and have no previous experience with firearms (dealing or using) and so this was a totally foreign concept to them-encountering live ammunition at close range.
Back to the story-so one of them goes to Mogadishu on some work related trip and when done decides to go for some last minutes hopping at the general market which is rumored to have everything from fabric, precious metals, ice-cream, grain, artifacts and ammunition-this in range from grenades, bazookas, AK47s, MAC 10s, Kalashnikovs and an endless list of the lot. True to form all that is rumored about the market was in existence and the chap decides to ‘window shop’. And in seconds he has willing sellers haggling prices and even offering a shooting range/target practice to test the product after purchase, after all he wanted value for money right? And he plays along thinking it’s a hoax till they get to the shooting range and he is shown how to handle the AK, clean it and whatever else you are taught about arms. In the end however he just killed that story (buying the gun I mean), but it has left an impression of Mogadishu being ‘too cool’.
The one that went to Lagos got invited to a ‘local’ for pints by a friend who was mutual friends with a big shot of sorts that side of the world. And as the evening wore on, my friend suggests a change of venue dues to the dubiousness of the local’s surroundings and the impending darkness. His new Oga pal just tells him to be easy and makes a call. Within 5 minutes flat a battalion of cops lands in the area and five secure the local’s exterior and three others join them inside to ‘protect’ them. This is not the end of it, the 3 guards join them for some pints and it starts getting heated as they get frosted and the cops start a pissing contest with whose gun chucks the loudest shots/gunfire and they whip out their guns and have a trigger happy pissing contest. Anyway this was shortly followed by my friend’s exit of the premises and end of his frosting spree ever in Lagos! Shenanigans of Africa, that’s what makes this continents uniquely interesting!

Professionalism

There exist different kinds of professions on this earth- from prostitution to journalism, banking, thieving (on both small and large scale), politicking, artistry and the list is endless. What I have come to know is that there are levels of skill required for these professions and to each that practices them and the results of the worker’s labor speak for themselves. And my point, respect all professions and the skills they entail. This is regardless of whether those doing them trained for them sufficiently or not, and my kudos to those who have (or are on their way towards) mastering their fields. When I watch ladies of Koinange’s ilk marketing their wares on street corners at 3am or in some classy restaurant with random different clients, I get to understand it is not a profession for the weak. And this is the same notion I will have when watching soldiers going through grueling training at their barracks to become efficient killing machines. All I am saying is that it is never easy, hard work comes in many forms in different professions, only issue is, what kind of profession you are in. So to be the best marketer (of different wares-depending on your JD and situation), soldier, artsist, banker, thief, teacher, etc. go out of your way by working as hard as you possibly can, be the best in what you do and kick ass!

Peculiarities in the Nairobi art scene

So with the Nairobi art scene experiencing some sort of renaissance, it seems to be going through some unnecessary peculiarities of sorts. Why? Because few artists in Nairobi seem to have brainwashed themselves with the idea that they are major gifts to the country’s art scene. Please note that the only reason they think so is the plus of having journalists, bloggers, events planners and ‘fans’ who are friends. This guarantees them all the publicity and no review of their work, no criticism and no comparison to others artists countrywide to see capability and talent abounding from others who may as well be more talented and more gracious.
And with this mentality of being ‘the greatest’ or ‘the providers of premier East African musical experiences’ has even made them form their own ‘cool crowd’ which ranges from groupies to hanger ons (those of the ‘I know so and so at every gig’!) and users as well (these ones vary in their talents; from using other people’s husbands to furthering their career to kissing anyone for the paparazzi so as to get some extra press/publicity). And to be with the cool crowd you have to adhere to some unwritten commandments;
Thou shall show up at every major gig (in Nairobi only, few exceptions are made for bourgeoisie gigs at the coast and some exclusive parts of the Rift Valley) thrown by any artist members of the ‘cool crowd’
Thou shall continuously refer to these gigs (to a nauseating effect) in any conversation held with the cool ones
Thou shall seriously ostracize non religious attendees to the ‘cool crowd’ artists gigs
Thou shall aspire to be identified with all the gig throwers and artists affiliated with the ‘cool crowd’
And the list goes on and on methinks, but its never that serious in my opinion off to pay attention to real talent!

Jav Adventures in the new hood

So after having moved to a lovely neighbourhood in the middle of a weird new area code, I have had to endure some serious matatu torture rides-and I mean TORTUROUS!
Why I am sure you ask-picture yourself on Jogoo road, but instead of driving towards town, you deviate to the other side of the road and drive against oncoming traffic (please note when you’re boarding the jav, they say jogoo road, town so obviously you assume its via city stadium past Muthurwa and presto, uko town!). Well this is not the case and some of us green ones learn this the hard way.
Back to my story-as the driver nonchalantly drives at 100kph against oncoming traffic, we sharply swerve and enter Shauri Moyo, against some more kidogo oncoming traffic. And the journey from there into the mazes of Eastleigh Sector 4 on some seriously bumpy, nonexistent roads over which the dere still pulls a 100kph over. And as you look around you fear for your life because of the existing perilous situations (both inside where death is possible from an accident and outside the jav where you could get jacked and thrown into one of the numerous sewage rivers running in the area or worse). Suffice to say by the time you get to town-hopefully in one piece (albeit with rattling teeth, bad back, heart in throat and purse and rosary/prayer beads tightly clutched in fist) you do not want to ever want to get into a 33/34jav ever again considering the crazy ride as well as the cost-kshs70-100 depending on whether its raining, there is mad jam or the kange feels generous! Unfortunately, jioni you’re back at the stage chilling for one to take you home and that will be in part of this storo 
Ciao people

Earning Stripes

I recently had the good fortune to attend a lovely classical music dinner gala and the bad fortune of sitting next to a not so lovely character during the dinner session. The thing is this unsavory character is a business mogul (aptly labeled Chairman) who has earned his stripes, but completely lacks decent table manners in terms of small talk and is also well known for his voracious appetite for young ladies who he entices at any open opportunity with his wallet. Well on this night he had met his challenge as he is used to company that constantly sucks up and has made him unaware of his bigoted behavior and I think he has not met a young one who is pro-wallet first! One rude comment from him was enough to elicit a taciturn reply that shut him up a few minutes before he came up with another only to find an immediate sardonic response from my end. This prompted the guy to down a couple of pints and finding no more mocking left in him, left our table to go terrorize some poor diplomat who cringed at the sight of Mr. Bigot’s approach as he yelled his name- Poor guy! After that the tension at the table lifted and everyone looked at me in a different way- considering they were previously unaware of my presence on the table. I had earned my stripes as well ;)