African Traditions

Been having interesting discussions with members of the old generation from different ethnic backgrounds. The coolest thing about these people is that you get to learn so much from them that you would not learn from TV, FB, Twitter or on many modern sites. The treasure trove of knowledge is amazing, and soooooo interesting.

The best part is getting info on all these interesting practices that Africans have and the preparations and attire involved( I use the word have because contrary to popular belief what happens in Nairobi applies to the rest of Kenya so that means guys in shagz still practice them).

So in essence it makes me wonder what position I would be in if the zungs' hadn't colonised us and if I would have existed at all! And if I had, would I have like 16 tois, mbotching my behind off, be pulling a zuma (being a mkemwenza) and missing a vital part of my anatomy (yep the part that they amputate from mamas for most of African cultures). Kinda makes you wonder where you would be right now and how much of your background's practices you know and practice.

As I head to our brothers down south tomorrow, lets see what interesting practices they have there, siku njema people (despite the cold) (",)

Bad hotels and restaurants in Nairobi

The list is based on poor service and food mostly based on my experience dining there.
1. Art cafe; these guys quite conviniently ignore you whilst signaling them for service-actually the term should be deliberately ignore customers! Then the meal portions are rediculously tiny for the amount paid-just picture ordering a slice of cake and what comes resembles a biscuit and the price is about Kshs250 or thereabouts if they haven't been hiked!
2. Epic restaurant: food takes FOREVER to be served, it comes in uchoyo portions and you will need to walk to the front desk to pay your bill as the waiters usually 'conviniently' forget about some of the diners-next time I will just walk out without paying!
3. The Stanley; apart from treating every female African customer like potential prostitutes, they also have really bad service, but god salad
4. Its a tie-Yes people its that bad! Java Koinange and Java Junction: take too long to serve miros (read white man syndrome here) and at times have waiters with lousy, unecessary attitude.
So good people you now know where not to go for those upscale restaurants that you might consider. And just something small to ponder with such service, do the staff in these places seriously expect to get tips from fellow miros after the 'service' they give? I guess that's why most people prefer locals/mtaani food places, why? The food comes quickly, its cheap and the service is equal for all! And on top of everything these guys do not even expect tips so if you give a tip-you're the star client!
Have a satisfactory day people (",)

Crying in a Mercedes

Had a discussion with a close friend today from her FB posting about an option between crying in a Merc and a bicycle and her response was in a Toyota of sorts in regards to happiness in life and general musings. When she asked for my answer, I replied a Merc-why? Because it has air-con to dry the tears, kick ass stereo with surround sound for an uplifting jam to lift my spirits and a random bottle of something alcoholic to lift up my spirits ;). In addition tinted windows so that people don't see me cry and my credit card in the car to get me a pair of Jimmy Choos to again-lift up my spirits.

At this queried whether we are too materialistic and I told her my deduction of the situation is that we just want the best in life for ourselves, and who can blame us?

Would you rather cry on a bike in the dust, glaring sun and in public viewing where you could even preng the bike and cause even more public disgrace or in a Merc with dignified poise (mind you, while weeping), privacy and consoling surroundings?

Ponder this and a mzuri weekend people as we cheer on Ghana tonight in the world cup! (",)

P.R Kenyan style

Had a meeting for a charity event venue source of sorts and I have to say I met the most snooty 'Sales and Marketing Manager' ever! Fine its a prestigious hotel and you work there, but my dear here is the reality check-you don't own it, so don't act like you do!

That's what happens when you get media personalities to do jobs that do not suit them-whether they are trained or not. I wondered after that meeting what kind of sales manager was in place there and how exactly she met her targets with such an attitude considering the guy who runs the hotel is sooooo chilled out! Anyway as a resolve, I shall invite her for the charity event at another venue just be courteous after all, snootiness only looks good on the snooty (",)

Patriotism

Attended a rather interesting breakfast meeting leo where one of the key speakers was Brand Kenya C.E.O, Mary Kimonye who gave an interesting insight about Kenyan perceptions on patriotism. The fact that Kenyans are always quick to criticize anything regarding their country instead of applauding or appreciating any positive aspect that arises out of this amazing motherland! Which was soooo right considering I am one of those Kenyans guilty of this condemnation of my motherland! (Shame-yes, I know)

Which is why after that meeting I have resolved to become more patriotic and proudly market and support the positive aspects of Kenya. This will include adding more Kenyan flag oriented clothes in my closet in addition to my Kenya Rugby shirts and khangas and also buy a big flag to replace the small one hanging in my house.

In essence I will do more when I go for the world cup finals next week and rival the patriotism levels of our brothers and sisters in the rainbow nation down south.

Najivunia kuwa Mkenya not navumilia kuwa Mkenya anymore! Have a patriotic day (",)

What a World Cup

Major game renowned world over-hence the title and Africa only has one team to show, regardless of the fact that this was meant to be the continent's first time to host it. And a lousy African themed ball (in name and looks only, if I may add).

What a let down in performance!

Also what a let down in the official song-originally done by a Cameroonian group then remixed by a Columbian who trashed it by trying to add in a small part by a South African band. And a lovely song by a Somali/continent native rejected as the official song for a world cup hosted in Africa!

To add salt to injury majority of the African teams have foreign coaches(could this be reason for their abysmal performance?) who speak not a smite of the national language of the teams they coach.

My deduction of this world cup is that the only thing African about it is the venue, few African teams and the African fans.

MATATU!

Escapades on a daily basis in one include;

1. Bad breath and body odour from fellow passengers and the tout

2. Risk of getting robbed, mugged or mat-jacked by gun totting hoodlums

3. Insults among drivers, touts and passengers

3. Conning of your change from the tout

4. Fondling from perv passengers

5. Risk of your life thanks to drivers manoeuvring the jav like formula 1 racers

6. Arrest over lack of seat belt use

7. Having to bribe a cop to not get busted for lack of seat belt use

6. Getting stuck in the aisle between seats in a small jav

The list is endless and the worst part is how passengers are at most times helpless against this!

Siku njema people